you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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