I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize