I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
