did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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