i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize