shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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