This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
