My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
