How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
