I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
