Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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