I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize