I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
