I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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