you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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