all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't turn off my feet"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
