to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
