I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
