you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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