I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize