isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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