Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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