I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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