dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
