I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize