Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
