If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
