U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
