listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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