best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
