i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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