That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
