Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
