I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
