i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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