mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
