so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
