SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
