shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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