ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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