It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
