I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
