life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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