I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My cat gives me a boner
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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