She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
