I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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