the only muscles i have these days is kegels
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
