Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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