I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
