well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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