And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize