omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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