i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
