Sponge bath it is.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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