Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
