..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
