Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
