you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
