I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
