drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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